Hi everyone! How are you doing? 😊
Most of us have regrets about something in our lives.
It can range from the light-hearted i.e. regretting eating too much and suffering a stomach discomfort after that 😅 – to the not-so-light-hearted such as regretting getting angry at a loved one or not being able to live the life that we envisioned.
In Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she found that the most common regrets from patients in palliative care were:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
What are your topmost regrets?
Fortunately, there is now a way to end the cycle of regret.
How to Stop Living with Regrets
No matter the degree of regret you feel, there is a way to stop living with regrets. Here are some tips:
Start by reflecting on yourself:
- What are my regrets?
- What can I do to reduce or overcome this feeling?
Be as specific as possible in your self-reflection.
We suggest writing it down as writing allows us to really work through our emotions and our plan to overcome it.
To better illustrate, your self-reflection could go along below lines:
- What are my regrets? e.g. Not living the life that I want.
- What can I do to reduce this feeling?
(i) Identify exactly the key objective that you’re trying to achieve.
e.g. spending more quality time with family
(ii) Set realistic goals to achieve your objective. Break the goals into even smaller goals if that helps.
learning how to actively listen or
learning how to put the phone down when talking with family members or
learning how to reasonably say no to frequent late night work conference calls (with possible workarounds such as call recordings etc.)
Once part 1 is done, next – it is to accept that past regrets are exactly that – the past. They are dreams that have already passed. Once we can accept this, it is easier to let go of our regrets.
3. Willpower to change
Make it a point in your heart to really change. Once you do this, it is easier to remember and stick to your objective. You can adjust your goals according to the situation but be firm on achieving your objective.
4. Discarding regrets and breaking the cycle
Meditation is an excellent way to discard past regrets so that you don't have to live with these past shadows anymore. It also helps you do all 3 points above better.
Discarding helps create more space in your mind and heart to accept everyone and all situations regardless. With the newly created space in your mind, it helps you better focus on the objective and goals you've set for yourself too.
Lastly – as the deepest regrets are often
caused by deep-rooted habits – meditation is a powerful ally in overcoming
these habits so that the cycle no longer repeats itself.
To learn more on how to stop living with regrets, please enjoy this video. 😊
At Penang Meditation, we offer live, guided meditation
sessions that allow you to subtract all your false mind and achieve what you
want to achieve. For a free introductory seminar, please contact us here. 😊